Chapter 4:Healing

Sometimes speaking out about your inmost soul and laying it out is when healing starts to happen. You spent a lifetime stuck in silence afraid you will say something wrong, but if Noone ever reads it how are we going to know your story, so why let your voice be tamed.

During the time when Anne lived with the cousins there was always something to cry about. However there were good moments as well both from home and at school with friends. This is the incident I remember vividly because it all played out right before me. On that fateful day the was no lights and she had prepared supper using firewood and and as she had finished preparing the supper she went inside and dished for everyone and she stood by the door and called to the aunt to come inside and have supper. Surprisingly the uncle got so furious and called out to her in a harsh and hateful voice. As she approached the doorway he had gone to intercept her and shouted "how could you call us why you standing here instead of kneeling down here to tell us to come and eat. Wow that was so harsh because I didn't see what she had done wrong but at the time I didn't see how it would have become such a big issue. So Annette tried to explain but that wasn't heard, suddenly she got slapped and pushed around, the way he was hitting her like he's in a fight with a man of his age . As small as she was, she had strength from all the pain she had been put through in that very house. She tried to defend herself and he got more angrier and chased Anne out of that house mind you this is at night after 8pm to be precise. So Anne stood by the gate and he saw that she was still around and went and told her to get lost. Anne started walking away from the house as I went to approach her and ask her to come over to my place to sleep as the following day was a school day. She said no because if he were to find out I slept here I would be in trouble so let me sleep here by the road side till morning. I had to return home quickly before my parents notice I was outside at night which was against the rules.

But I noticed as I was leaving she had no jersey or anything warm to put on and the night was chilly. I didn't sleep that night knowing my friend was outside in the cold alone. But come to think about how do you send a girl child out at night in the cold streets ? Perhaps he hoped she will be found dead in the morning, but what was the motive actually if there was any. So Anne that night she realized it's getting more and more late Perhaps she got scared to be alone and decided to go to their family friend which was a long distance away that couldn't be traveled by a young girl at that time. As Anne told me she arrived there after 12am midnight and they were surprised to see her at that time, so she explained everything that had happened earlier and they allowed her to sleep. So in the morning she did house chores as she was used to and they took her back home later that day because she was afraid to go back to that house again considering what had happened. Just as she had anticipated he tried to deny everything and paint Anne black as if she was to blame for all that had happened. 

Some memories never leave you,some moments never fade away, sometimes the trauma and pain is persistent even if all your scars have healed. Life is a miracle every moment of your existence. As they were discussing about the issue they told her to apologize for her wrong doings forcefully though which she did. So it happened again the other day the garden was not irrigated and all the blame obviously had to go upon Anne since she was a scapegoat of everyone. Though this was not her duty it didn't matter she had to take responsibility of everything that goes wrong irregardless of who did it. So that day she and the cousin brother got beaten but Anne took more of the beating as the Blacksheep of the family. So they got chased out of the house again and this time went to one of the elders of the church they attended to intervene on their behalf but however it didn't turn out okay. So when this happened it was at night. The two had agreed that this was child abuse all the beatings and he heard that part didn't sit well with him and took them to the police station and said since you said I'm abusing you let's go and you report me. Little did Anne knew that his was all a play when they got there apparently the uncle told the police lies how any was a rude and naughty child and how much he's struggling to quotion her and all that. So he asked the police to beat Anne so much and she got beaten on her back so bad that she suffered for days and he didn't let his child get beaten and told them how he was a suckling child. At that time Anne suffered from asthma as well as the cousin brother but irregardless of all that the uncle let Anne take all the beating instead. This was the height of it all Anne couldn't take it anymore. She thought of committing suicide since she had no one to protect her but surprisingly she met someone I will tell you a but later that changed her life and gave ther the courage to live rather not die. 

Anne: When you told me about the book you wanted to write about me I was a bit sceptical as to what I will say or do about my past experience during childhood. But I realized that part of healing was to speak out my mind freely without having fear or stepping back. Healing from childhood trauma can be a very lonely journey your family, friends and significant others may not understand. I realized that those scars will be there to remind me of all the strength and self reflection that I went though to get here and the lessons I've learned to never go back there.

Me: While you are healing now,in the eye of the storm, please remember this moment Anne and the beautiful moments you have ahead of you. This garden is your soul,this mess is you. Together you and I, we've been working with a purpose in your heart and it is wild and beautiful and perfectly in process. To you it might seem like a mess but I see a perfect pattern emerging and growing and alive. Remember on the other side of pain is the invitation to receive  healing from the restorer  of faith. Your story Anne is the moving parts of letting go and receiving God's greatest gift of love.

Let's meet again in chapter 5 continuation....